Cinder Read online

  “I know right now they aren’t, but they’re under possession, or at least, your brother is.”

  “The last time I checked, my mother wasn’t. And she was never that great of a mother to me.” I shake my head, feeling the tears burn in my eyes. “You know, I think she knew what I was all along and hated me for it.”

  His forehead creases as he gazes down at me. “That can’t be possible.”

  “But it is,” I whisper. “When I was younger, I took the life of my grandmother…” I swallow the large lump wedged in my throat, “because she was dying and asked me to, and even though my mom didn’t flat out come to me and say ‘hey, you’re a Grim Angel’, I could tell she knew because she kept telling me that I killed her.”

  Asher stares deeply into my eyes as he strokes the corner of my eye with his fingertip. “She shouldn’t have known, unless your grandmother told her, but how would she even know?” The more he thinks about it, the more confused he looks. Then he pushes up, leaving my body cold as he sits up and pulls up one knee, resting his elbow on it. “What about your father? When all this was going on, where was he?”

  I sit up. “He’d moved out and was slowly starting to get the rep of the town crazy... Asher, you’re not… I mean, you don’t think my mom has anything to do with this, do you?”

  “I’m not sure exactly. I do know that the Grim Angel blood on your father’s side has been going on for many generations, which is one of the reason why I think you might be the last one standing, but if your mother is connected to it too, that would make you….” He trails off.

  “Make me what?” I press, even though I fear the answer.

  “You’d be so pure,” he says softly. “You’re entire blood pure Grim Angel and it’d give me even more of a reason to believe you’re going to be the last Grim Angel, because your blood line could be connected to what started this all.” He shakes his head, staring out the window at the moon shining in the sky as he processes this revelation and I try not to freak out about what this all means, not just in terms of being the last Grim Angel, but in terms of the fact that my mother’s been connected to this the entire time.

  “I’d really like to talk to your mother and see is she knows about all of this.” He looks over his shoulder at me, his head tipped to the side, strands of his black hair hanging in his eyes. “I’ve never even met her.”

  “That’s sort of a good thing,” I tell him. “She’s not the nicest person. Or the most responsible.” And honestly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was a Grim Reaper, simply because of how much hate she carries inside her.

  His sympathy deepens. “Still, I think I should talk to her.”

  “Well, if we can find her, you can,” I tell him. “But right now, I have no idea where she is. She was in a drug treatment facility up until a few days ago when she left without telling anyone and I haven’t been able to find her.”

  He offers me a sympathetic look. “Well, if she’s human, then I can track her down rather easily.”

  “How so?” I wonder.

  “By tracking down her soul. It’s what I do... or what I used to do.” He pauses. “Shit. I’m not even sure I can do that anymore…” He ponders over this and then perks up a little. “But I’ll try to find her no matter what it takes.”

  I gather my hair back behind my head and then reach for an elastic band on the nightstand. “Thank you. I know I’m not a fan of hers, but she’s all I have left and it’s been lonely without her living here, even if she was only ever here just to change her clothes, grab a bite to eat, and shower. And plus, if she is part of this whole Grim Angel thing, then she’s in trouble.”

  “How long have you been living here by yourself?” he asks, glancing around at my room which is still a mess from when the shadows ransacked it.

  “Well, Ian was here off and on until about a few weeks ago.” I scoot up next to him, needing to be near him, feel that I’m no longer alone. “Although, he never really is here, at least not mentally since I’m pretty sure he’s possessed. He hasn’t been home in about a week and he wouldn’t return any of my voicemails, but he showed up in the attic just a while ago… with Raven… Did you know he was a Grim Angel this entire time?”

  “As soon as I see someone, I know if they are,” he says guiltily.

  “Why did you never say anything about it to me?”

  “Because I couldn’t.” He looks at me with pity in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Ember. That you lost your brother and that you’ve been so secluded… You must have been so lonely having no one to talk to.”

  “I was, but I wasn’t entirely alone” I stretch my arms out in front of me and glance down at my exposed arms and the fading lines on them. “There was Cameron, but I think I prefer the solitude over that.” Liar. Liar.

  He lowers his knees and allows our bodies to touch, our sides and shoulders pressing together. “We’re going to figure all this out and I’m not going to leave you until we do, okay?”

  I nod, choking up more than I like. “Okay.”

  The corners of his lips quirk. “Now, I can help you with one thing right now, if you trust me enough to do something.”

  I rack my mind for what I’m truly feeling; whether or not I trust him. “Okay, I trust you.”

  A full smile shines through as he reaches for my hand. “Come here.”

  I lace my fingers through his and then he entices me onto his lap as he reclines against the wall just to the side of the window so I have a view of the dark, deserted street where even the police car is gone, which is unusual at night.

  Asher’s places a palm on each one of my cheeks and wets his lips with his tongue as he glimpses down at my lips with a slow burning fire in his eyes. “I want you to drink some of my life,” he says softly.

  I instinctively jerk back, repulsed and frighteningly a little turned on. “Asher, I can’t do that.”

  His hold on me is firm and I can barely put any space between us. “You’ll be okay. I promise. And it will erase the death Cameron put on your arms.”

  “And what will happen in its place?” I ask worriedly.

  His lips inch towards mine, his breath dusting my cheeks. “More of your Angel blood will emerge.”

  “Could I… I mean, if I took enough, could I become an Angel of Death?”

  His face turns a little white. “You could, but I won’t let that happen.”

  “Why not?” I feel gravely disappointed, yet grateful at the same time, proving again that I have no idea what I want. Evil or good? You’ll have to decide eventually.

  “Because Michael would never accept you,” he says. I can feel his pulse pounding through his fingertips. “He’d make you come back to serve your purpose. It’s how he is.”

  “So, he’d make me a Grim Angel again?”

  He nods. “I’m sorry, but there isn’t really any easy way out of this.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault.” I pause, my undivided attention centering on his luscious lips. “So how will I know when to stop drinking?”

  The half-smile appears again. “I promise I won’t let you take too much, even though I’m sure I’ll want you to,” he says as he slides his palm up my side, his hand stopping just beneath my breast. “Although, if I could, I’d love to let you.”

  I’m not really sure what he means by that, but I trust him enough that I don’t question him on it further. “Okay, but it doesn’t hurt you, right?”

  He shakes his head, his eyes glimmering like the stars just outside the window. “It won’t hurt at all.”

  I nod nervously and then slant in closer so that my lips are brushing against his. I can hear his heart beating steadily inside his chest at the same time that I feel the warmth of his breath and body surrounding me. I inhale, and when I let it out, I eliminate the space between our mouths and seal my lips to his, focusing on drinking the life from him.

  His lips instantly scald mine and I tug my fingers through his hair, crushing my chest ag
ainst his. He gasps as I breathe in, feeling what’s inside him transferring to the inside of me. It feels lighter than Cameron’s, like I’m drinking the sun. When it spills through my veins, it feels cool and soothing.

  “Take more,” Asher whispers and I do, stealing larger breaths full of air as our tongues explore each other, entangle, become one. I want to stay like this forever, always linked to him and whatever it is that’s inside him because it’s the most potently wonderful thing I’ve ever come across. I never want to let it go.

  Eventually, though, he starts gasping for air and finally pulls away, breaking the connection.

  “I’m sorry,” he pants, his pupils immense, his lips swollen. “I just had to get some air.”

  My chest raggedly rises and falls as I inspect him for any damage, but he looks just the same; inky black hair that hangs in his slate grey eyes, smooth skin, luscious lips, and lean muscles that make up his near perfect body.

  “I didn’t take too much, did I?” I ask breathlessly.

  He shakes his head, looking tired yet content. “You took the perfect amount,” he says, his fingers finding my wrist and delving into my flesh. “And it got rid of these, too.”

  I glance down at my arm and can’t help smiling at the sight of my mark free skin. Deep down, though—way, way down—disappointment burns at the fact that I can no longer have the connection to Cameron, which makes me wonder who I am. If I really am evil but have been hiding behind the good because it’s all I know.

  Chapter 12

  I wake up to the sunlight hitting my eyes, my face pressed against Asher’s chest and my hand on his stomach. Somehow in our sleep, we tangled ourselves together, so I can barely figure out where he starts and I end. After a little bit of struggling, I manage to get my legs untangled from his and then I slip out from underneath his arm. I stretch my arms above my head and smile up at them, free from Cameron’s death; realizing that despite my doubting thoughts, I am really glad that they’re gone.

  After I stretch, I relax back and stare down at Asher sleeping in my bed. I hate to admit it because I don’t want to be one of those girls who’s only happy when I have a boyfriend, however I do feel a little less weighted than I have over the last few weeks.

  Maybe today will be a good day, I think to myself, staring out the window at the grey sky.

  Think again, Cameron’s voice stabs at my head like bees.

  Dammit. I thought you left. I cup my fingers around my wrists. They’re gone, so how are you still inside my head?

  There’s just a hint of it left, since Reaper blood is more powerful then Angel blood, he says smugly. Which means I have a little bit of time left inside your head.

  I grunt and get out of bed, heading to my closet, to change. I pull on a black shirt that’s held together with a red ribbon along with a pair of black jeans. Then I tug the elastic out of my hair and tousle my fingers through it before I quietly sneak out of the room so Asher can sleep and I can fight with Cameron aloud.

  He’s so vulnerable now that he’s banished, Cameron muses in my head as I head down the hallway. I’ll have to remember that.

  “Don’t you dare do anything to him,” I warn as I pad down the stairs. “He’s only that way because he helped me.”

  “No, it happened because he wasn’t supposed to touch you at all, especially how he touched you last night,” Cameron says, miraculously appearing at the bottom of the stairs in full human form, wearing slacks, a black shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and a shiny watch.

  I freeze in the middle of the stairway, my eyes fixed on him as I take in the noiselessness of the house. “What are you doing here? Isn’t living in my head enough for you?”

  He ambles towards the bottom of the stairway, taking calculated strides. “I’m not literally in your head, Ember. Only my voice.”

  “And you can read my mind,” I state, daring to take another step. “Can you see through my eyes, too?”

  He leisurely scrolls up my body, his eyes as black as the night sky and they burn like the stars. “Afraid I’ve seen you naked?”

  I protectively wrap my arms around myself, shaking my head, but it’s a huge lie. “I’m just wondering how your little trick works so that maybe I can protect myself next time you force me to walk into a building full of people who want me dead.”

  “They don’t want you dead,” he says nonchalantly. “They want you on their side.”

  I grip onto the railing and take another step down. “And you want me because…? You never have made that one-hundred percent clear; why are you so eager to get me to do things for you?”

  “I have made that clear, you just don’t want to believe me.” His penetrating gaze makes me restless and uneasy. “Because I want you, princess.”

  I let out an uneven breath before I speak. “Well, what if I don’t want you to have me?”

  “Sometimes what we really want, isn’t what we think we want.” He extends his hand to me. “Now, come with me. I have something to show you.”

  I lean away from his hand. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  He’s irritated. “I promise I’m not here to hurt you. Only help you.”

  I snort a laugh. “That is such a lie.”

  He keeps his hand out towards me with zero patience in his eyes. “Have I ever hurt or tried to harm you?”

  “In the bowling alley,” I say without missing a beat.

  “You made it out of there safe and sound,” he retorts.

  “Because Asher helped me.”

  “No, I helped you,” he says heatedly. “Asher may have been there, but I’m the one who got you out of there alive.”

  I scowl at him. “You’re the one that put me there in the first place.”

  He narrows his eyes, still keeping his damn arm out to me. “Because I was trying to help you find the leader of the Reapers, the person behind all this madness.”

  “You’re a Grim Reaper,” I point out, swatting his hand away, but it barely moves. “You’re part of this madness, too.”

  “And you’re a Grim Angel,” he spats back. “Which means part of you belongs to the Reaper bloodline and that makes us not that far apart.”

  “Maybe in blood,” I say, fighting to keep my voice even. “But we aren’t in terms of morals. Like, for instance, I’m not a murderer.”

  “You’re not?” he questions, cocking his brow. “What about the other night in the alleyway.”

  “That was an accident,” I say, gripping onto the railing to keep my support as I feel my knees threatening to buckle. “And he didn’t die.”

  “Thanks to me.” He slants forward and snatches hold of my hand, jerking me down the last two steps. “Now, would you quit being stubborn and come with me? There’s something I need to show you; something important,” he says. When I glance apprehensively over my shoulder, he adds, “Don’t worry. He’ll be out for a while, especially now that he’s human.”

  “He’s not human,” I argue as he hauls me towards the door and I try to figure out why I’m going with him of my own freewill. Is it simply because I want to see what he wants to show me, or is it something deeper, a connection I don’t want to admit exists? “He’s just been banished… and how did you even know about it at all?”

  He pulls open the door and a chilly breeze gusts in along with dry leaves that flutter along the tile floor. “Because I heard you two talking last night when I decided to momentarily enter your thoughts and check if you were all right.”

  I pull an appalled face. “So you were spying on me?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. You guys are really boring,” he says in a tight voice as he steers me out the front door with him.

  I shut the door behind us and then we head across the grass towards the curb. The sun is peeking through the clouds, but the air is chilly and there’s a layer of frost on the grass along with browned leaves. The neighborhood is rather vacant except for a neighbor up the street loading boxes into the t
runk and the old lady that lives across the street. It would seem like an ordinary day except for the fact that both of them are dressed in summer clothes and their eyes are glowing as they watch me.

  “God, it’s spreading like a virus,” I say as I stare at the old lady across the street, who is watering the sidewalk with a hose, her gaze fixed on me.

  “They sure seem to be fixated on you, too,” Cameron remarks as he studies the woman wearing floral shorts and pink bunny slippers like it’s not thirty degrees outside. She must be numb to the cold from the Reaper being inside her. “It makes me wonder just how close we’re getting to you being the last Grim Angel standing. Or maybe we’re already there,” he says in a taunting voice as he looks at me.